My Dogs…

Posted: 12 Oct 2012 in Humor, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

…are retarded.

And for no other reason than I want to write about something other than politics.

I’ve got four dogs. Not one of them will chase a damn ball.
They might swat it, sniff it, chase it until it stops, but then, turn around and look at me like I’m nuts.

Give them a squeaky toy and two will play tug of war with it until it breaks and the stuffing is all over the house, or back yard.
Prior to those two, my wiener dog had a squeaky toy that lasted four years. She played with it daily and never tore it up.

But not one will bring a ball back to me. Sure, they’ll bring the squeaky back to me, but not a damn ball.

What gives?

Why won’t they bring back a ball?

Prior to this bunch I had one dog, a German Shepard that would bring the ball back and drop it at my feet. I can’t figure out how to get these guys to just pick it up and bring it back at all.

Then again, the Shepard obeyed my commands. In fact, if I told her to heal, she’d do just that and didn’t matter what was going on around her. Even in the presence of other dogs, she’d heal when I told her to.

These guys, barely sit when I tell them to.

They do come when I call them, they are good about that and they will stay with me when I tell them to, but other than that, they’re the laziest bunch of good for nothing dogs I’ve ever seen.

What a bunch of goofs.

Here’s the pack:


This is Ginger. She’s going on 2.

Ginger is a Jindo dog. That’s a Korean dog. Look it up. They’re good dogs, loyal and protective.


This is Gochu he’s a little younger than Ginger.

Gochu is a Chihuahua mix. He’ll sit there and look at you with that stupid shit eating grin on his face for an hour if you let him.


This is Lucy.

Lucy is a wiener. I like rubbing my wiener. dog.


This is Sammy. He’s the old man at 4 1/2.

Sammy is a PomChi, aka Pomeranian Chihuahua. Sammy was supposed to by my wife’s dog. That didn’t quite work out as planned. He attached himself to me.

Lucy is my dog, planned it that way and it’s true. She’s my bud.

Ginger was supposed to be mine, but she’s more attached to my wife. Has a beautiful bark. Deep and menacing. She’s  a puss though. Great watch dog, would help you steal my shit though.

Gochu, which means red pepper, or dick in Korean, is an odd ball. Very loving, but not the brightest in the bunch. He and Ginger are attached to each other like glue. Can’t call one without the other showing up too.

Evidence of the Gochu/Ginger bond:

They are inseparable.

This is usually the view I get when Lucy wants me to pay attention to her:

That’s her squeaker that I mentioned. It’s been since ripped to shreds by the other two.

Sammy is the boss. He’s the smallest of the bunch and doesn’t take any shit from them, or anyone else. In fact, he’s the biggest asshole of the bunch.
 If he was bigger, I’d have to put a chain on him. He’s that anal.

Don’t let that innocent look fool you. He’s an asshole. But he’s pretty cool though.

Not one. NOT. ONE. will chase a ball and bring it back to me.

Good for nothing dogs.

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