USAF’s Big Penetrator Needs to Be Harder… Wednesday, Feb 1 2012 

H/T Ace.

The headline is just too funny not to post this.

USAF’s Big Penetrator Needs to Be Harder

Yup, the Massive Ordnance Penetrator MOP needs to be harder, according to anonymous Pentagon sources cited in a Wall Street Journal article.A series of recent tests found that the Air Force’s 30,000-pound tool for penetrating 32 stories of reinforced concrete might not have enough penetrating power to take out Iran’s most heavily protected nuclear facilities, reports the WSJ. This has prompted the Pentagon to secretly ask lawmakers for $82 million to improve the bomb’s penetrating power. The MOP is getting Viagra.

Remember, the Pentagon just spent about $60 million for 16 MOPs that are designed to be carried by B-2 stealth bombers.

via USAF’s Big Penetrator Needs to Be Harder | Defense Tech.

Breaking the Barrier… Monday, Dec 5 2011 

A little humor for your Monday…

Hey Barry! From Russia with Love… Tuesday, Nov 22 2011 

This is too funny. Even the Ruskies can’t stand his ass.

GEICO and the Therapist Wednesday, Jun 30 2010 

This is too funny.

Stole this from Blackfive.

Starbucks Showdown… Friday, Apr 2 2010 

This is a Starbucks showdown.

Funny.

Stole this from Argghhh!!!


Humor… Thursday, Feb 25 2010 

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON’T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years – canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don’t.
(2) If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That’s why they call it ‘fur’-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don’t speak clearly.

Remember, having dogs and cats is easier than having kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don’t ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don’t talk back,
(7) don’t want to wear your clothes,
(8) don’t have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don’t need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children …

Letters to the President from the Children… Thursday, Feb 25 2010 

Glenn Beck reading the children’s letters.

I’m not a huge fan of  Beck. He gets a lot right, but he also screws the pooch.

This is funny shit though.

Four Cats… Friday, Feb 19 2010 

Stole this from Southern Sass

Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

the second man was an Accountant,

the third man was a Chemist, and

the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

‘T-square, do your stuff.’

T-square pranced over to the desk,

took out some paper and pen and promptly

drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies.

He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good!

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

‘Measure, do your stuff.’

Measure got up, walked to the fridge,

took out a quart of milk,

got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard

and poured exactly 8 ounces

without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the

Government Employee and said,

‘What can your cat do?’

The Government Employee called his cat and said,

‘Coffee Break, do your stuff..’

Coffee Break jumped to his feet……..

ate the cookies…… ..

drank the milk……..

pottied on the paper…….

screwed the other three cats…….

claimed he injured his back while doing so…….

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…….

put in for Workers’ Compensation. ………. …..and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

AND THAT, MY FRIEND,

IS WHY HEALTHCARE SHOULD NOT BE RUN BY

THE GOVERNMENT!!

Favorite Superbowl Commercial… Monday, Feb 8 2010 

Well, there wasn’t much to choose from. But, Betty White and Abe Vigoda get my vote for the best commercial.

“That’s not what your girlfriend says!”

Friggin’ classic.

Hide the Decline… Tuesday, Nov 24 2009 

Spot on…

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