If he doesn’t have a boner, feed him.
Make me a samich.
…it’s that time of year! I’ve been remiss, so here’s my stab at pissing on off Femanazis.
First up, all the Feminazi’s favorite president.
Next we have this lovely Asian with big boobies to ogle. Ogle away boys.
And then there’s nostalgia.
And finally, for today, we have this nugget.
That is all.
You too can have fun at the expense of Feminazis.
Bros Before Hos: The Rules
At the start of a new relationship, you may find yourself consumed by your new flame. All your time is spent with her and your calendar is booked weeks in advance with your shared plans.
The losers in this blissful situation are your friends — the ones who were there when you were single. It’s easy to find the guys being pushed out of your plans as you embark on a new and exciting relationship, but it’s also wrong.
You need your friends — you always have and you always will. That’s why our Bros Before Hos Rulebook will guide you through the tricky process of balancing your girl and your guys. Here are the rules to live by.
One of the biggest challenges in relationships isn’t keeping the girl, it’s how to keep your friends and the girl. A sad truth of dating is that once you’ve succeeded in getting her, you lose time with your friends. You can easily find yourself under pressure to focus your energy on your partner and the blossoming relationship.
Needless to say, you need a good balance of both in your life. Spending the rest of your days without women would be unthinkable, but so would going without your bros.
And continuing our anti-feminazi theme for the week, I found this gem:
Why do so many women insist on carrying out this war against men? Absolute gender equality isn’t going to happen; we have gender equality now. Even if in a million years, men and women somehow made this unrealistic ideal happen, there will always be a sexual distinction between men and women causing some sort of inequality (if only on the level of basic physical needs). Or should I say women and men, as not to imply a male superiority? Why the hell should people go out of their way to be politically correct and use this “he/she” nonsense so a few chicks with language complexes won’t be offended? Oops, I said “chicks”. Damn.
Why the hell do women get offended when they’re called chicks? I don’t see how that word can be remotely offensive in anyway. But, some women think it’s derogatory and belittling. Some women are so petty, that they resent any male implication in the english language. Who cares? What if guys suddenly felt like bitching and wanted to eradicate all the derogatory male phrases from the language? Buster, Pal, Buddy, Stud, Hunk. Oooh, don’t call me a buster, I’ll be offended.
Who’s to say what’s offensive anyway? Just because a few feminist extremists think that something’s offensive, does the whole society have to change their way of doing things? I don’t want mother nature being called mother nature anymore, but rather father nature. I don’t want ships to be referred to as female anymore, but rather male. The phrase “she’s a good ship” offends me. I don’t want liberty to be a lady. Why does it have to be lady liberty? Why do people say “she’s beautiful” when referring to cars? Why not he? Who cares? It’s just the way things have always been. It’s not meant to be offensive, so why doesn’t the offended party pull their head out of their ass, and stop bitching about it.
Today is the Fourth Anniversary of these Dispatches, but the official celebration will not begin until a week hence.
As has become the tradition, the gang here at TCOTS celebrates the occasion with our annual Six Days Of Cheesecake, which is loved and admired by all.
The delay in the celebration is necessitated by a desire to avoid a conflict with Stacy McCain's annual National Offend A Feminist Week, which he has proclaimed for the next seven glorious days [